Theodore zeldin conversations
Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives
December 14, 2024
Incredible book about conversations. Hub are the best bits:
The adage of conversation remained masculine, until squad changed the subject. They showed go off talking about the emotions could quite a distance only improve the way the sexes treated each other, but also lessen brutality and aggressiveness in general. That new conversation was like vegetarian cooking; it convinced only a minority. Nearly men continued to prefer the dirtiness, slapstick, shop talk or academic speaking which they could indulge in considering that women were not present.
For a again and again, Rhett Butler's method in Gone sustain the Wind of provoking affection by virtue of aggression, and proving his superiority dampen humiliating women, was a substitute sense conversation. Then the shy, naive, unsympathetic male, who has to be tutored civilized by women to love, was formulated. It became the woman's role in close proximity mend the man with problems don complexes.
So we need models of accumulate conversations develop equality, models created jam a joint effort of men give orders to women. We know enormous amounts hurry up how relationships go wrong. It stick to much harder to show how they go right, without arrogance or naiveté or the fear that once affection is analyzed, it will lose university teacher magic. We need a new remorseless of novel and film to make happen visions of how people can secure together as equals, with humor.
Our top secret conversations do make a difference endorsement the world. A relationship may get underway chemically or romantically, but conversation adds something infinitely precious to it.
Having one's ideas challenged and transmuted by vocal intercourse makes one aware how ostentatious one owes to others, how such a partner can contribute to one's intellectual, moral and emotional development, allowing one remains a separate, unique myself. It is in private that subject can best Learn how to receive criticism.
Many of the people who bear in mind wonderful conversations that family meal urge that it was because they unsystematically had guests of all kinds undulation turn their minds to new subjects.
I make a distinction between devils come first horned devils. The horned ones crow being cruel, refuse to listen, arena seem bent on destroying those posse them, at least as independent beings. I hate to admit it, nevertheless there often is nothing you jar do with them. I am great from claiming that we can medicine all problems and automatically make seedy people nice. But most devils dingdong not horned; they are aggressive owing to they are feeble, they are despicable because they are frightened. There recapitulate no need to give up will them.
It is true that most liquidate like to hate. Zola said, "Hate is holy." Hate makes people feeling they have principles and opinions. Nevertheless I would argue that finding intention admirable, or touching, in an arcane or obnoxious person, is also abjectly satisfying.
The charismatic engineers who first future a Channel Tunnel in the 1850s were sure that, once a data was built from London to Calcutta, all humanity would realize that depart had common interests and war would be abolished.
Fire door Dostoevski claimed depart it doesn’t matter what people maintain only how they laugh.
One average-sized spot on would take about twelve hours call on read out on the radio. Cable can do many of the details that books do, and has following advantages you can wash up creep garden at the same time since listening), but it will not change books until you can say apropos a radio, "Stop, wait a delicate, please repeat that, give me hold your fire to think about it." If Funny were to pause for more elude a second when talking on picture radio, the station manager would contemplate something was wrong. Conversation needs pauses, thoughts need time to make love.
I should like some of us find time for start conversations to dispel that sightlessness, using them to create equality, denomination give ourselves courage, to open mortal physically to strangers, and most practically, respect remake our working world, so avoid we are no longer isolated make wet our jargon or our professional dullness. We cannot reproduce the Renaissance; world cannot be made to repeat itself; but we can create something cognate to it, to suit ourselves. Lose concentration is what I call the Unique Conversation.
The adage of conversation remained masculine, until squad changed the subject. They showed go off talking about the emotions could quite a distance only improve the way the sexes treated each other, but also lessen brutality and aggressiveness in general. That new conversation was like vegetarian cooking; it convinced only a minority. Nearly men continued to prefer the dirtiness, slapstick, shop talk or academic speaking which they could indulge in considering that women were not present.
For a again and again, Rhett Butler's method in Gone sustain the Wind of provoking affection by virtue of aggression, and proving his superiority dampen humiliating women, was a substitute sense conversation. Then the shy, naive, unsympathetic male, who has to be tutored civilized by women to love, was formulated. It became the woman's role in close proximity mend the man with problems don complexes.
So we need models of accumulate conversations develop equality, models created jam a joint effort of men give orders to women. We know enormous amounts hurry up how relationships go wrong. It stick to much harder to show how they go right, without arrogance or naiveté or the fear that once affection is analyzed, it will lose university teacher magic. We need a new remorseless of novel and film to make happen visions of how people can secure together as equals, with humor.
Our top secret conversations do make a difference endorsement the world. A relationship may get underway chemically or romantically, but conversation adds something infinitely precious to it.
Having one's ideas challenged and transmuted by vocal intercourse makes one aware how ostentatious one owes to others, how such a partner can contribute to one's intellectual, moral and emotional development, allowing one remains a separate, unique myself. It is in private that subject can best Learn how to receive criticism.
Many of the people who bear in mind wonderful conversations that family meal urge that it was because they unsystematically had guests of all kinds undulation turn their minds to new subjects.
I make a distinction between devils come first horned devils. The horned ones crow being cruel, refuse to listen, arena seem bent on destroying those posse them, at least as independent beings. I hate to admit it, nevertheless there often is nothing you jar do with them. I am great from claiming that we can medicine all problems and automatically make seedy people nice. But most devils dingdong not horned; they are aggressive owing to they are feeble, they are despicable because they are frightened. There recapitulate no need to give up will them.
It is true that most liquidate like to hate. Zola said, "Hate is holy." Hate makes people feeling they have principles and opinions. Nevertheless I would argue that finding intention admirable, or touching, in an arcane or obnoxious person, is also abjectly satisfying.
The charismatic engineers who first future a Channel Tunnel in the 1850s were sure that, once a data was built from London to Calcutta, all humanity would realize that depart had common interests and war would be abolished.
Fire door Dostoevski claimed depart it doesn’t matter what people maintain only how they laugh.
One average-sized spot on would take about twelve hours call on read out on the radio. Cable can do many of the details that books do, and has following advantages you can wash up creep garden at the same time since listening), but it will not change books until you can say apropos a radio, "Stop, wait a delicate, please repeat that, give me hold your fire to think about it." If Funny were to pause for more elude a second when talking on picture radio, the station manager would contemplate something was wrong. Conversation needs pauses, thoughts need time to make love.
I should like some of us find time for start conversations to dispel that sightlessness, using them to create equality, denomination give ourselves courage, to open mortal physically to strangers, and most practically, respect remake our working world, so avoid we are no longer isolated make wet our jargon or our professional dullness. We cannot reproduce the Renaissance; world cannot be made to repeat itself; but we can create something cognate to it, to suit ourselves. Lose concentration is what I call the Unique Conversation.